Evolution

I’ve began to doubt the World in which we are living. I no longer believe in no religious institution, corporation or country. I don’t believe in communism, democracy, capitalism, socialism or any other form of government; I don’t believe that they will help society in any form more than driving it to self destruction.

I believe in God and believe that everyone should belief in a form of deity, supernatural force or something that makes us more human than we already are. I believe that we should start from cero and make things right this time. This is call evolution, the way is meant to be, not as the next generations of predators, but as beings of higher consciousness.

For that we most first record all the “whys” that are driving us take this decision, this must be done so we will never forget why have we chosen this path. This is the most dangerous task and maybe the most important task of them all, and thus it should be done.

Human society has turned into a manipulative force that meddles with our sub consciousness, making us act as mere puppets of an external force that doesn’t care about our well being. This external forces (call it the private world, governmental or the media) has bombarded our lifestyles with symbols that have a direct effect on our well being. Nothing that is of real importance (life, love, health, happiness, etc, etc, etc) has real value, on the other hand, products, material things, are our goals. The tools of acquiring these goals are simple: do what you must to get what you want. And it would be beautiful to say that this just happens in one part of the world, but the truth is that our global civilization is sick. We ourselves must become a virus to contra rest the other virus. At this, our focal mission is to make the virus benign to human well being and its evolution. I am in no way endorsing violence but ask of a way to liberate ourselves in the most intelligent and profound way our history has ever seen.

The evolution has just started.

Jack Raif

Monday

Depression got a hold of me today; it's a mixture of melancholy and the obvious frustations of everyday life. I've finished painting the first page of my poetry book, I kind of like it, though is obvious am no true Picasso. Decided to head off home early after school, nothing else was holding me there, so what the hell. Don't want to pick the Chinese books today (though I should), for today I give up. Probably try to find a good book home or watch enough dvd's to drive me crazy and let my inner devil have some of me. I've been kind of reading the page, its kind of boring isn't it? Damn, I'm sorry for that, but I don't know shit about web designing to make it attractive, thus it's pretty lame of me just letting all my sadness and not letting you on the briefest account of happiness in my life. Well if there is someone from otter space out there that wants to take me to see the plains of mars or cruise around saturns rings, please adduct me, I live in Beijing, China, 苹果社区, you can figure out the rest... just give a 2 hour notice so I can grab my towel and hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.

Take care,

J.

Wake up on Monday
The first day of every day
Nothing special on Mondays
That is just the day the week begins

Tuesday, the rent is due,
Gave all the money I had left,
So funny, poetry doesn’t feed or shelters you,
Wonder what did famous poets before me live off?

Wednesday, gave you a call,
No desire to talk so I hang up on the first buzz,
I can’t give you anything,
So many successful young men out there,
Take a pick and head off,
I won’t be mad at you,
That is just the way my life goes.

Thursday, my friends call,
Top notch workers and thinkers,
Laugh at my incorrigible ways,
Pretty God damn tough
When you have dough on your pockets
Do this do that
Let me smack you with the brick of reality
Am not smart, tough or God.

By Friday people on the bar are buying me drinks
Decline and head off,
Pretty fucking clear by now people feed on emotions
Let them feed on air tonight,
I just want to dream up something and get peace from it all.

Saturday, wake up, look at my side,
It was just a dream,
Decide if I want to get up,
No I don’t, but I have to,
Don’t get anything done if depression wins the best of me

Sunday comes, look forward for Monday,
The first day of every day,
Nothing special happens on Mondays.

Jack Raif

Noodles in Beijing

Noodles in Beijing,
originally uploaded by Jack Raif.

As I arose from my bed I felt the cold biting my worn out liver, but my eyes were seeing a glimpse of heaven when they rested upon the bluest sky ever, the yellow particles of the sun were striking the walls of the constructions and the air was pure, breath against breath, the oxygen here had not been this way for at least 3 months.

Bored of myself I started to clean the bathroom. The god damn bathroom! On a sunday morning... I must be losing my mind! But I did.. put on some Herbie Hancock and started sweeping and wiping the floors. Nice, Herbie has a DJ. Finished cleaning and decided to go to the black market and buy some movies and computer programs. I was all mad because I needed to get an external dvd/cd rom but couldnt make up my mind. After that went to the other SOHO, the green one (and yes, I'm being funny here) to find the gym my friend had told me about. Found it but decided to have late lunch at the American Cafe with two friends. We had some quesadillas (cheese and green peppers), chips and salsa and my friend order chicken wings. Next we went to the gym, had to sign my name and give my information before actually going in. The girl who took us for the tour of the facility had very beautiful eyebrows, I would even say exotic, nice beijingnese accent too. Fought to get a discount, damn it! Gyms are so expensive here. Dececided that it might be better to get a membership at the gym in the white SOHO. Went to the supermarket near the gym. I was getting bored of the Carefour and Century Mart, so this was a nice change. Couldn't silence my inner voice or counscious (or Satan or God or who the fuck knows) saying: "Jack, why the fuck did we not move around here? 苹果社区 sucks compared to this place... and look all the beautiful ladies, and check it out JackAss, no constructions near by... nice nighty nigth sleep, but you don't know about that... you haven't slept well since you moved to 苹果 hu?" It might be more expensive I tried to say to the voice, but when he wants to get nasty he does.

Bought a new cover for the bed, new toothbrush, some color pencils a highlighter and air freshner to put beside my bed. I think if I smell something nice when I wake up it will put me in a good mood (call it wishful thinking). Got home, started washing my cloth and ended up here, writing, so in this exact moment am here, but am not. The past was described but I wasnt there, but right now am here. We havent seen of each other in a while havent we?

So I've written this piece. It's called bird. Hope you like it,

See you in my dreams,

J.

You want to cage me
In your little plan
You want to feed me,
Like a little bird,
Cut my wings,
And let me see the world,
From there,
You are so you,
And I am so me,
That it displeases us
To be
Anything but the other

Safe but unhappy,
I would crush your cage
If I had the might,
If I didn't respect you or obey you,
I would strangle these bars of ineptitude
And disgrace the million manners in which you have raised me
I would create a private hell
To let you feel
Empty
Dark
Somber
Millions of millions of bangs to the head
And the endless sound of silence
It would drive you, while your eyes are looking inside,
Insane,
My name is your name,
Thus you are not me,
And cannot think,
That I would conform in a cubicle of fate,
Where all the lines know where they would end,
Strapped to it with no one to talk, or be myself,
I don't want to trade places with the mightiest kings,
Or wish to suck on heavens tits,
I don't feel like oceans, immense or unstoppable,
I just want to be me,
Free,
In this place some people call
Beijing.

Jack Raif.

P.S. You can check out some of my performances at http://subterraneanpoets.blogspot.com and yes the picture posted has no relation what so ever to what has been written today. I just like noodles. Je.

I have to find a way to stay in Beijing. I have to find a way to stick around here longer, I have no desire to leave... I just don't feel like quiting this place just yet. But God, by all means, I wish a light would shine the way and just lead me to a concrete, solid vision of my future. By now I am scared, and if you are not in this position is not easy to understand why, I guess. People will say that I'm talented, gifted and intelligent, not to worry, but in this globalized society that doesn't count for much, does it? I'm scared and am not scared to tell the world.

Beijings weather has quickly changed into nice Autum to crazy cold in just a few days. Winter is coming and I think it will be colder this year. My kinda luck. Got to be strong though, got to hold on to my poems and to my ideals, have to be me. I have to be strong, strong... nothing good is really easy.

This next poem I wrote it for kids, was performed at Annie's exhibition. Hope you liked it.

J.

Let me tell you a story about 3 young bros
Eennie, Minie and little Mo
Though they were from the same Dad and Mom
All had a special characteristic of their own

Eennie was good at math, physics and all that stuff
Won first prizes in math contests and was praised at home
She could solve large mathematical equations
Like what is the square root of 3,244
And in one second or two she would say:
56.9561234 (etc, etc, etc...)

Then there was Minie who excel at all sports
He was the captain of the wrestling, baseball, pin pong team, but he
Specially liked football.
He had a room full of trophies, ribbons and prizes of that sort…
He was popular with the girls, and no blood related people would call him "bro".

But my favorite brother of them all, as you might have guessed it, is little Mo,
He wasn't popular or praised at home,
And most of the time had crazy ideas that his parents and teachers scorned,
He told stories about worlds only found in his head,
Draw things that he could only see,
Wrote prose with strange words like:
Flick my brains flocks cause my dog fell from my locks...

He would talk to everyone; the priest, the thief, the beggar at the church door,
The police, the old man and anyone who would care to have a little talk.

No one thought much of him
or the things he did,
No one paid attention to that special gift
Bestowed from the Gods to him,
They said, if he is not good in school,
Then he must grow up to be a fool...

He didn't care though,
He lived in a world of his own,
And by the time he was 24
He was the most famous poet around the world.

Parents should encourage their kids to be who ever they want to be,
And if they want to be an artist
You shouldn't treat it as a bad omen,
Or else your kids will grow like me,
Definitely a bad poet.

Jack Raif