Friday, September 22, 2006

Am not a strong man. I can be bended with my passion, what ever makes me "feel" I want to do it a lot and get overwhelmed by it. I wish I could control myself, but I was never taught to restrain myself, I live to the fullest. Is it bad? Of course it is. But what isn't bad in this world? I guess my Mom was always right to say that earth was hell and it wouldn't be fair to have another hell after death. Wise words, though I guess Christianity would not approve of such ideals. It might be an invitation for death.

I'm thinking on quitting everything and wed words cause they are just always there. It's something as real as death, we cannot avoid it. And let music be my mistress, is something as tempting as sex. Other things are just an enhancer of those mentioned.

Lets see what comes of all of this.

Take care my dear reader.

Jack Raif

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Jack Raif at a Shrine in Tokyo

Jack Raif at a Shrine in Tokyo
Jack Raif at a Shrine in Tokyo,
originally uploaded by Jack Raif.

My days have been filled with a rollercoaster of emotions ranging from the loneliness of my arrival to Beijing to the ever hip stream of Jazz Bars which I dedicate myself to go once a week to the almost non existent blue days in which I flirt with the waitresses on my favorite restaurant, to the pull of the calling of my family to return to my country.

I have payed the price for this "gift" and my hedonistic way of life which is coming slowly to an end since I have to return to the real world (find work).

I kicked ass at the poetry festival held on the Bookworm. It truly felt like the first time... nervous and shit, you know? I even had to put the paper on the table... but the words flowed thru my lips and the audience embrassed it. I made good friends there, specially a talented Chinese poet and painter called "deep sleep", whose chinese poetry has a rythm that I think is very unique.

Finally last weekend I played bass for a poetry reading in Ritan Park and of course improvised some of my stuff too, in which all went well, until I lost my bass at the end of the presentation (blame it on the alcohol and the time they let us perform). Saturday was a total mess too... arrived home at Sunday 6 a.m.

What to do now? Still don't have a glance of the future, still want to be in Beijing.

Hope you enjoy this next poem, called Hedonism.


No more rolling a joint for my friends and smoking it with them on a Sunday afternoon while listening to good old rock music getting the munchies and eating a tasty pizza with Hawian Punch.

No more LSD, mushrooms or mescaline to see within to see without, to see the lights, to see the clouds, to see the soul as you have never seen it before, as an intrinsic part of the universe, to defy tradition, to know God, to know yourself and to think as no man has ever thought before. A celebration from all
starting from one
and becoming none.
You are so bad! Bad boy! Bad bad bad!

No more hiding yourself from everybody else
locking the door and letting your little "didi" have fun, with the wide variety of pornographic material that this corrupt world has to show, no, no, no, no more sex in elevators, at the beach, in the bathroom, in Moms and Dads houses, plus no promiscuity, no sex before marriage, no more doggy style, sixty nine, rodeo or beach ball, no sex for fun. Better yet! You can ONLY have SEX if you are going to PROCREATE.
You are so bad Georgie boy, so bad!

No more use of foul language, no more cussing, no more (that's right!) cocks, cunts and fucks. From now on to speak in derogatory terms you'll have to be a physician "you stupid fornicating vagina!". Don't you think that is dumb?
No! You are a bad man, bad, bad, bad!

No more driving thru a red light when there is no one around, no more making fun of politicians, of your friends, of somebody else Mom, of stealing at the seven eleven, of hitch hiking, of being adventurous and ruthless, of profaning other languages mandandote para la mierda y mentandote la madre, of drinking till you pass out, of waking up at 2 in the afternoon with no idea of what happened the night before, of being intelligent to have the right for being dumb. No jazz, no rap, no rock and roll.

If it's going to be that way, let heaven be hell and hell be life for I couldn't stand and eternity experiencing the same shit twice.