Sunday, May 29, 2005

These words
Carry the pain, the longing, and sense of hopelessness
Of every man,
Of every woman.

The stars are so far
But yet they can be seen.
No matter where you are
They can be seen
Though unreachable
They can be seen.

Reminding you
There’s a prize awaiting thee
Not in this life span
Maybe in two or more
But yet, they can be seen.

So wait my friend
Patience is a precious gift
Someday things that are way beyond our grasp
May one day become at hand.

So live life because you have to live
Not because you are expected to be
A legend, a knight, or a king,
It’ll all come someday
All you have to do is wait.
For the right time
To grasp the star
Make it yours
And laugh so hard

Life so easy
When you aren’t expected to be much
Cause you know someday things will come at hand
Love, money or that damn fucking star!

Jack Raif

Friday, May 20, 2005

Opened my eyes last night
No stars shined
The moon wasn’t there
I closed my eyes;
And things started to appear
A black sun
A bright night
Opened or closed its all in the mind.

I’ve closed the doors for love.
No matter now if eyes are open or closed.
I’ve open the doors for life.
I have ceased to believe in all.

Im a danger to myself and to the one who reads
Wake up.
Same light.
No love.
Happiness denied.

Wake up.
Same job.
Shitty little destiny.
You aint going to be a legend.
You aint going to be shit.

Wake up.
Why wake up.
Close your god damn eyes.
Be still.
Listen to me.

Today I shall not believe in Love
Nor God for that matter,
Nor I will let people bullshit me about
How “special” I am,
And that I have a great future.
Today I will push lies
And tell people to fuck off
I don’t need true love, or recognition,
Or being important, or being loved,
Or true to myself or to anybody.

I just want to live.
I want to want to live.
And not care for any shit.
I want to want to care to be alive.
Not true love. Not money. Not God.
Don’t want to care if my eyes
Are opened or closed,
Just want to hear me breathing.
See my belly go up and down
And say… Damn, Im so fucking happy to be alive.

Jack Raif

P.S.: Yes, It's been a while... but surely not dead.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Dumb, dumb Jack Raif
Poor little freak is insane
Things are not going well in his brain
But outside he is just all the same.

He needs to need
To feed on she
He has no will
To be on this:

Life fucked up place, I might be insane, but to you, I or him, we are all the same. You see no difference in life. Real or unreal, its much alike. I might be insane, but from me there is so much to learn, so much to be felt. Jack Raif is insane, he has altered his brain, to escape from people who don’t mean shit for him till this day. Its just that, I choose on what world to live, what things to see, the voices and the things I want to hear. Real or unreal, what’s the difference in life? Do you really belief you are reading this, or are you thinking it? Are you going insane? I’m I to blame?

I got no sense of words. They are always the same. I hate this, I loath that, I need love, I need trust. Need to be sane, to be normal and happy. Its always just the same, words, ideas, all over again. Fuck that, for now I will write happy poems:

She came today,
And kissed me
On a starry night
Close, heart by heart.
And she said… I love you

Yeah! I’ll write that kind of crap, cause you know why? Maybe it will happen! Maybe I really need a change of attitude, of destination, of ideals. I need to be a better man. Forget vices. Forget sadness. I just have to pull from this shit that I call my life, and live a good life. What ever the fuck that means.

But really. I need to change. I cant keep on like this. Im bored. Im tired. Absorbed by this thing called emptiness. No love. No God. Alone. I really need to breath, in the night sky, in open space, and feel those things that I much crave for. I really need change.

Jack Raif

Not worth it


Cuando amas pero no te aman, una y otra vez, sientes el cansancio, la falta de oxígeno, que no llega al corazón. La larga carrera de ser aceptado, y compartir situaciones, la necesidad de ser amado, nos encarcela, punto esencial de nuestras vidas?

Pues me niego.

Se que no te encontraré. Qué deambularé los labios de muchas, pero que con ninguna me quedaré. Porque no soy suficiente. Ni para ellas, ni para mi ni para nadie. Así que renuncio a ti porque me canse de buscarte. Y talvez ese sea mi error. Buscarte. Pero inconscientemente siempre lo hago. No llegas y no te encuentras, no te acercas, no estas, olvidemos esas cosas, olvidemos el amor, que para mi eso es un libro de mitología, algo de lo que la gente habla, pero jamás pasa. Concentrémonos en las otras cosas de la vida! En un cielo azul, en nubes blancas, en el ritmo del saxofón tocando una tonada triste de jazz, en las estrellas, en lo poco que nos resta de vida.

Y si existes. Si existe esa persona que alguna vez va a amarme. Pues que me busque. Porque por mucho tiempo te he buscado, por mucho tiempo no te he encontrado, por mucho tiempo te he llorado y las lagrimas de los ojos se han secado. Es hora de que hagas algo por mi, y si es mucho para ti, buscarme, amarme, acompañarme, pues no me importas.

Por ahora aquí estaré, solo esta vez, sin conocer que es querer, sin conocer felicidad de verdad, para dar fin a esta etapa, que el alma conozca soledad, para en futuras vidas, poder esperar mucho más.

Jack Raif