Sunday, May 28, 2006

May 28, 2004

This poem is inspired by my friend Massa and our drinking habits. It was performed in the Bookworm the 24 of may (for the third time) for the theme that night was alcohol. Today it's a beautiful day in Beijing, after those 4 days of smog and rain, the sky is blue as it should be, the wind is cool, so my emotions are in a higher state. I've missed so much days like this, makes me want to go out and scream "I'm so glad its over, I've missed you so much! It's so good to see you!"... But I must say I wish I had a special person to share this day... time to get going... If you can please check the Subterranean Poets website and the Bob Marcacci page.

You have to understand the philosophy of it...

Fridays comes,
And I don't want to be at home,
Sober, bored,

I belong to a special breed,
Drinks and smokes weed,
Lives dies and lives.

I mean: who wants to sit
And watch time fly
Never participate
No actions in space and time.

My body asks for interaction!
Needs to walk the streets at night
In search of some action.

And fuck the discos with its deafening sound and hip wanna be,
Trendy cloths and shitty drinks.
Fuck the bouncers, the go go girls and the rich kids who buys drinks
To people like me, making me listen to their shit,

But praise the bars.
Dim light, soft jazz, good drinks, good talks,
Get drunk, go dance,
Get dumb, lose your mind,

Hit the other bar,
Shut up and drink,
Louder music,
Less hip,
None the less pretty grim

Mix your stuff
Beer and rum,
Vodka tonic, Baijiu,

Mix your brain!
Lust and anger,
Euphoria and love,

Engage in dance,
Twist your hips
Make a stand,
Bend your knees,
Caress her thighs

Feel her body,
Then she pushes you back,
"Fuck you, you are pissed drunk,
go sober up and THEN, then maybe we might talk".

Who cares cause all my eyes see
Are moving lips, no sound comes from it,
And when I see my enemies
I try my best satanic verses:
So you want to mess with me,
Fuck my mind up,
Confuse me, blind me,
Stress me, mock me,
Laugh at me, destroy me,
Yet I'm blessed, you little fuck,
By demons and angels
That caress my vibes at night.
I walk carelessly
I talk freely
I say what I want, do what I want, fuck what I want,
Toke what I want,
My energy transforms the world that surrounds me
Into what best fits my benefits,
So if you want to kick my ass, go head, by all means,
I bet faith will get rid of thee...

And I walk and stumble with angels
And sometimes demons,

Take me home,
My soul overflows...

Something is wrong inside, I cry.
What is it?
It's life.
And I try so hard to be normal
And I try so hard to be sober
But between my emotions,
Depression and boredom
Between the backstabbing pain of friendship,
Between tears, loneliness and lust,
I blame myself,
For not being who I am
For always talking so much

So cry baby cry,
While Mom feeds you lies
You have to, You have to, You have to,
Why do I have to... and not be?
And while most pedestrians walk the safety line,
I chose to walk blindfolded by emotions
In traffic...

And so many times cars hit me,
And so many times I had to get up,
Until the glass hit me for the last time,
And it wasn't I who was no more,
Like the phoenix from the ashes,
I was reborn...

So next day I say to myself "I won't do this no more",
But I bet Friday will come,

And the first thing my mind will think
You have to understand the philosophy of it...

Jack Raif

Friday, May 19, 2006

Shang Hai

Shang Hai
Shang Hai,
originally uploaded by Jack Raif.
I started writing this poem in the city of Shang Hai, I ended up finishing it a few weeks later in Beijing. I performed it twice in The International Open Mic at the Bookworm in Beijing the 10 and 17 of May, 2006. Hope you like it...

Jack Raif

In this Paper

In this paper
I leave a statement
I exist
I am here
Or there
But I am who I was
Who I will be
Not who I am
But I am.

These cities, these countries

Are all a part of me

I write in English

But I am Panamanian
North America is in my eyes
But my heart belongs to Asia.
And usually I am mistreated
Because I dont fit the stereotype
Most people cant relate
To a two language speaking mind
A white skin man,
Who grew up black.
Who dont prejudge
But relies on first impression
Who knows poverty,
But now knows money,

Who has traveled from nowhere to somewhere, east to west, north to south, being dead, being alive, stripped the night sky of clouds to see that the future was all around.

I have fed my hungry soul
With multitude vibes from humans abroad
They have taught me many ways of thoughts
Points of view, enraging fire that makes evolution what it is
A constant movement to the future,
Unstoppable they say,
I say manipulate able

And some want to talk about freedom
When they are encaged in their little brains
Then blame the state for their lack of knowledge
I blame them for their lack of curiosity
If you search it
You will find it
Knowledge is out there.
You just have to grasp it.

I, with my very own eyes, have seen,
Night sky when I approach sleep,
Sun rise kissing my skin,
I have seen people come and go
I have laughed, I have cried, I have hated, I have loved,
And I only want to live just to watch where society is going,
I only want to live to see the next chapter of my life
To tell them who I was, but will be,
Not who I am,
But I am,

As I told them one day:

While most pedestrians choose to walk the easy path
Road Bridges, safety lines
And follow signs,
I love to walk blind folded in traffic
And get hit by life
There is no easy way to walk with the Gods
Incandescent, untouchable, unreachable,
In loneliness that makes them who they are,
Legends, immortal in time.
Thats who I am.

Yeah Baby, and Im not talking about my racoon infested state of mind, with a slick vibe and smooth taste for soliloquizing my ideas, its ever present in my egocentric nick nack paddywack dance, its a kiss to the sky for letting me be, who I will.

Let me be proud of my self-esteem
and dwell in different tracks of existence to find identity. I love this latino infested creativity or rhythms and agnostic precognition... I have turn into a reptile imbedded in skins of many ideals, of many cultures of many souls. I am not one anymore in the sense that I represent many but many makes up one... me.