Monday, June 26, 2006

26 de junio de 2006

Last week was a week full of adventures and it is so that answer on why I havent writting anything on the blog.

Most of my friends are leaving home never to return to Beijing... in a way this is affecting me, for I've grown used to to most of them and they are my concept of stability in this country. But everything most come to an end, doesnt it?

I am planning to travel to Hong Kong, Taiwan and Japan during my month off. I tell this though, it sucks being a traveling Panamanian, you need a fucking visa everywhere you go, no matter how good our international relations are with another country. And I hate this, all the bureaucracy, all the shit I have to go thru just to go around the world. I will try as hard as I can to get all the visas though, I dont want to stay here feeling everyone has left me.

I was sick las wednesday so I didnt show up to the International Open Mic at the Bookworm but I did perform with Bob and Zhou in Bei Hai (Rain Bar) on the 24. I will post one of the poems I performed alone there, and see if we can transcribe the Kaleidoscope Poem to post it

One last thing before I leave you to my poem, I feel poetry is a dead art, a dead end... and it is so like me to fall in love with things that are this way... unreachable. I feel sad about that today, but there is nothing I can do, I didn't choose this... but it chose me... please just read...



A SPELL AGAINST ME AGAINST YOU

Images turn to plaster
And sounds acquire texture
And the days become nonexistent
Time laughs at the secrets I've been told
Because my jaw drops
Tears fall from my eyes
I drop my head
And with my fists
I start hitting space

Leave me alone,
You damned voodoo spirit or ghost
Leave me alone,
Go back where you came from,
You will not drive me into your corrupt
Vicious manipulative scheme
To hit my button of auto destruction
I may not have faith in the world
But I have faith in me

I will not believe in you or your God
I will not tempt my ideals and succumb to you because of fear
I will accept death as it is, unknown,
And will agree to follow this vibe that guides me thru this labyrinth called life.

Leave me alone,
Stop showing me grotesque human interaction
Making me think that life is a long wait for death,
And that's it, nothing more
I said stop your vicious manipulative scheme,
You damned enraged voodoo spirit,
I've watch you as you transformed yourself into a humming bird
And try to suck on my sweet emotions
Go back to your master

Tell her I have intoxicated you

Bittersweet

Tell her I am no game

That I will spit at her thoughts,

I will despise her love,

I will break sticks as if it were her bones,

I will stab her with all my will if she comes close,

Tell her that I've surrounded my self in a forcefield

Of might and elusive light that endangers her

Every time she tries to cast

A blast against my past,

Present, my life,

Be off you voodoo spirit,

And tell her that.


JACK RAIF

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